September

Insights
September

September has always marked the beginning of a new year for me, not only because my birthday falls on the last day of the month, but also because it marks the end of summer and the beginning of the school year. Having raised three children into adulthood, I’ve been conditioned by long practice to be sensitive to the changes in the rhythms and routine that this time of year sparks.

I hope that this is a new beginning, not only for me, but for the world. Will there ever be an end to war and warmongering? Will we ever as civilized beings face that we’ve wrecked and depleted our resources and are continuing to do so? What of the world Karma? What debt are we incurring against the future generations? How can we continue to deface our world and put the least of us in the way of famine, disease, and treacherous warfare (as if warfare could be anything else but treacherous)? How is it that my comfort is at the expense of another’s welfare?

I’m a small splinter in the machine. How do I stop the machine? How do I make my voice heard and declare that I want no more part in a country that goes around killing, killing, and killing with total disregard to the sanctity of life? I want to make a change. I want to change the world. Mahatma Ghandi once stated, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

I have to be the change I seek, so I started making a change. I stopped eating meat. I like animals, and even though I like the taste of meat, I don’t like causing suffering to my fellow creatures. I walk more. The more I walk the less gas I use. I’ve taken yoga. The more I practice yoga, the more I can walk, and the less gas I use. I’ve taken to meditating, chanting, and doing everything I can to be at peace with my family and others I exist with. It’s not enough, but I have distanced myself from the machine.

I believe that if I learn to make peace instead of war, that like the 100th monkey, my habits will rub off on others. What is the story of the 100th monkey? That one monkey on one distant island that learns how to wash his food in some way causes another monkey on a distant far away island to wash his food, no way influenced by the first island.

It really happened in 1952, on the island of Koshima (http://www.dead.net/forum/ what-would-be-answer?page=2). Scientists provided monkeys with sweet potatoes that had been dropped in the sand. The monkeys liked the taste of the sweet potatoes, but not the dirt.

One day an adolescent female named Imo discovered that by washing the potatoes in a nearby stream, she could rid herself of the sand. She taught her mother to wash the sweet potatoes. She also taught her playmates, who then taught their mothers this new method.

Gradually, other monkeys on the island learned to wash their sweet potatoes, and all the young monkeys learned to wash sweet potatoes to make them more edible. But for the adults, only those who imitated their children learned how to do this. Other adults kept eating the dirty sweet potatoes.

Then one day, 99 monkeys began washing their sweet potatoes. Later that morning, the hundredth monkey learned to wash potatoes. By that evening almost everyone in the tribe had begun washing sweet potatoes before eating them. The hundredth monkey created a momentum that produced an ideological breakthrough!

Written by Lisa Trimarchi

Plant Your Own Garden

Insights
Plant Your Own Garden

The other day I got the idea that I would prune my mother’s trees. I’d had enough of looking at those monster trees and thought she might like to have a nice tidy garden, come outside and have a cup of tea while enjoying her day. I created a whole scenario in my head where she would be seduced from her hermetic existence to sit outside in the shade and get some sun. Her cat would be allowed outside, as long as she was there, to stalk and explore. So I set out to shape her trees.

About an hour into my work, I began to reflect on how it seems that one tree—in this case overgrown bush—has so much in abundance. I thought about how I had about a couple of days’ supply of firewood already, and I hadn’t even completed the task. Do we really need to cut down forests when one tree can yield so much wood and still be allowed to live?

I pruned only five trees and had filled over twelve large garbage bags with branches and leaves. Imagine if I had pruned an acre. I wouldn’t be able to do it, but with assistance I could yield several hundred if not a thousand bags of excess branches and leaves.

When I was a child, I thought the world was infinite. The earth would always give up her gifts to me if I wanted. I watched my father garden and was in awe every harvest. We had so many tomatoes, squash, greens, okra, and eggplants. We had so much from such a small piece of land, less than 1/4 of an acre. I hadn’t yet noticed how this compared to others devastated by famine and wars.

When I grew older and became aware of global suffering, I had the sense of putting my hand in front of a tidal wave to stop it. What could I do? Absolutely nothing but be overwhelmed and drowned by the momentum of the rushing waves. If I survived the waves, I would be crushed by everything that they carried away.

I discovered that because we are a greedy people, our mouths open like baby birds wanting to be fed, taking and seldom giving, we are destroying and depleting the earth. When we see others in need with their hands out, we turn away. We don’t want the ugly picture of suffering to put the taste of bile in our mouths, thus embittering our oasis.

We exist on an oasis. It may not always feel that way. We have our own homeless, our own crime, and our own areas of famine. Overall, however, we exist on an oasis, and in the majority of the world, people have to struggle to obtain their next meal.

It causes me sadness. What can I do? How can I change the world?

As I raked up branches and leaves and filled bags, I thought about this. What could one person do? What can I do?

One person can foster a sense of gratitude that we won the lottery of life. We eat and live in relative peace compared to many other parts of the world. An individual can start making changes that will add to others’ efforts to create a wave that could begin to form from unified efforts, such as choosing what we purchase, how we eat, what we eat. Choosing to rein in some of our desires.

In America, we consume most of the world’s resources but yet only comprise a small fraction of the population. One person can make a difference and influence others.

I’ve chosen to consume less. I do need to drive from place to place, but sometimes I choose to walk and ride my bicycle. Maybe we can choose work that is closer to home. Maybe we can choose to carpool. If we can’t make that choice, maybe we can choose to grow some of our own food, thus placing a smaller demand on the supply. Maybe I can choose to plant drought-friendly plants, using less water. Maybe I can choose to be aware and do what I can, whatever that is, to help make the world a better place.

After admiring how lovely I made my mother’s trees, I tied up twelve bags of branches and leaves, put them in the garage for trash day, and realized that by composting I could take that refuse and make from it something beautiful. In a small way, my garden could contribute to making the world a better place and I could make the earth groan less under the pressure we’ve placed on her.

Lisa Trimarchi

Reign Over Me – Movie Review

Reign Over Me

Movie Review

You have to see the new Adam Sandler and Don Cheedle movieReign Over Me. I found myself at about 1:00 p.m. yesterday trying to go to a movie, and nothing was playing at a decent time that I hadn’t already seen, but that. And I really didn’t plan to see an Adam Sandler movie. But was I glad I did!

The movie had all the elements I believe a good and even great movie should have. I don’t understand the critics giving it low marks because it is a good movie. It has great dialog, realistic and believable. There are places in the movie where there is great monologue, and it doesn’t sound annoying like in a Woody Allen movie. The monologue sort of caters to the less sophisticated moviegoer. I think the writer took some great elements from Woody Allen and tailored those elements to fit this movie.

Sometimes a movie seems disconnected, like the movie is speaking and saying, look at me. Look at my great dialog between these two great actors here. Well, in this movie, you almost forget that you are looking at Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler. They perform well together. Adam Sandler’s performance is not a long trail of great comedic monologue. He becomes the character so well, that you forget you are looking at Adam Sandler, the actor. The same can be said for Don Cheedle. There are moments in the movie where he doesn’t speak a word, but says reams in his expressions and visual performance. Because of this, the movie becomes not so much a pasting together of scenes, but a harmonious construction of themes flowing together.

The subject matter is handled well. If you’ve seen the trailers, you know that Adam is having some problems coping with his grief. Don Cheadle’s character is facing some bumps in his marriage and in his career. These two issues are not handled in a stereotypical way, although there is some coverage of common themes known to everyone… a man feeling stifled in his marriage, a man suffering a great loss.

In the end the main theme is shown in the action, and the audience should walk out feeling very satisfied. I did something I don’t always do after seeing a movie. I didn’t fidget and I sat in my seat through the final credits. I both laughed out loud and cried as I sat through the entire movie.

We expect humor in an Adam Sandler movie—and he did not disappoint—but what was totally unexpected was his range of emotion and physical, nonverbal expression.

The music fits the movie so well I find myself wanting to own the soundtrack.

I guess I’m not a sophisticated moviegoer because I don’t always agree with the critics, but this one, in my opinion, is worth watching.

Lisa A. Trimarchi

Fall back ten and punt

Insights
Fall back ten and punt.

Florida gave me a lot. I got my degree. I gave birth to my youngest daughter. I found myself and solidified my identity. However, over the past few years I have been suffering losses. My oldest children are grown but did not leave the nest, and along with maturity there had been contention. I found myself giving more and more and receiving back resentment.

My oldest son left for Thailand 2 years ago and I was worried. How will this guy make it in a foreign country where he did not speak the language? He barely had a job. How would I ever be able to reach him there?

This was the beginning of my growing up and facing that at some point my little ones would have to leave the nest and flounder on their own in order to grow.

My oldest daughter had a baby not too long before that and I found myself taking care of her, the baby, and my other son still in high school. My youngest daughter barely got the attention she needed because I was pulled in so many directions.

I tried to do everything at once, including working on a degree in Math, working a full time job, taking opera lessons, and maintaining a household. At some point a house of cards will fall, and so did mine.

It hit me one day: I can’t do everything. Then I shook myself and tried to do more. I found love or so I thought and tried to juggle that, too. Well, a juggler can only keep so many balls up in the air, and unfortunately, mine came tumbling down.

I have a lot of energy, and well, I didn’t lose it. But I kept trying harder and harder. I was moving in circles and getting nowhere.

I had to sit down and rethink some things. Like, how when you do everything for your children, they naturally expect you to do everything. I had created an intolerable situation. I was expected to do everything, including cooking, cleaning, paying the bills, advising, comforting… everything!

I tried backing off. Having been raised by my mother to be a very nice person, I tried to be compassionate and understanding. I slowly clipped the apron strings. I suggested to my grown children that they move out, find their own place, and create their own life.

I was born with a lot of patience, but when I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough. After you’ve had enough, you endure. I endured. And endured and endured.

No one moved out. They were defiant in their resolve to maintain the status quo, that is, Momma does the cooking, cleaning, paying of the bills, advising, comforting… everything!

I suffered abuse. I received insults, and after all I’ve done for them, I had to accept their abusive friends and disrespectful behavior.

At some point you have to teach your abusers that they are getting nowhere trying to abuse you. My way of doing that was resisting. Arguing, refusing to move. By doing this I made my abusers stronger. My children were able to push harder and harder. Their muscles became that much bigger and I found myself unable to push back.

I had to learn to yield. Not to my children, but to myself. I had to begin to read the signals my heart was sending me. I had to cut my losses.

For several months I felt despair. Where did I go wrong? My youngest son would only voice his resentment toward me. My oldest daughter would only disagree with and defy me. I would cry when no one was near. I would call my mother and cry on her shoulder. I would call my friends and cry on their shoulders.

And one day I stopped crying. Instead, I took action.

I have a great friend named Ralph. He doesn’t like sports much but he will watch football occasionally. One day when we were talking, and I was listening, he told me about a term in football, “fall back ten and punt.” He told me sometimes you have to cut your losses and make the most of a situation. That punt, if successful, could give you the extra points you need to either give you an edge, get you above zero, or even defeat your opponent. And of course, friend that he is, he said I was a very strong person and was smart enough to do the right thing.

Well, coming from Ralph, that meant a lot because he’s a very smart person, a physicist and an engineer.

Fall back ten and punt.

A few months ago I attended a funeral… my uncle’s. I started thinking about my family and how these people I hadn’t seen in years showed me so much love and support. I thought about the possibility of myself going home and starting over. But I wouldn’t be starting over, I would be moving forward.

I have this wonderful car, a Ford Taurus station wagon, and it’s big enough to hold plenty of boxes. I packed my car with a few boxes and my suitcase, and kissed my loved ones good-bye. I decided I would move from Florida all the way to California… alone.

Having to leave my youngest daughter behind was very difficult because she is as mellow as I am and we have a lot of fun together. So I hesitated. We cried. We held each other. I told her I would return for her later. I hugged my oldest children and told them I love them. Then I started on my journey.

I’m in California now. I am working part time tutoring kids and about to pick up some of those balls that I had to drop before. Sometimes it pays to let go. Sometimes risks pay off, and I am sure everyone will be better off in the long run.

Lisa A. Trimarchi

Fried Green Tomatoes

Fried Green Tomatoes – A Holiday Recipe

Having family over for brunch does not have to be a stressful event. My family is from the South, and traditionally we have a big spread for breakfast around 10 a.m., which includes sausages, scrambled eggs, biscuits, and grits. Try the following menu to impress your loved ones Christmas morning.

Brunch:

Fried Catfish

Sausage Scramble

Biscuits

Cheese Grits

Fried Green Tomatoes

Ambrosia

Biscuits

(Serves 4)

2 cups self-rising flour

1/2 stick of butter

1 egg

1/2 cup of milk

Preheat oven 350 degrees. Cut butter into flour until it looks grainy. Set aside. Mix milk and egg together, and then mix into the flour mixture. Do not mix too much. Knead mixture for 30 seconds on floured surface. Let stand for 10 minutes. Shape into biscuits. Place on cookie sheet dusted with flour. Bake approximately 15 minutes or until golden brown. Remove promptly from oven. Set aside to cool. Makes approximately 10 biscuits.

Serve with jam and butter.

Fried Catfish

(Serves 4)

4 medium sized catfish filets

3/4-cup cornmeal

1/4-cup flour

Salt and pepper

Cooking Oil

Mix and Cut filets into quarters. Season with salt and pepper.

Mix flour and cornmeal.

Dredge filets in mixture.

Deep fry for 10 minutes or until golden brown, set aside to drain on paper towels.

Cheese Grits

Follow directions on box to serve four.

Remove from heat and set aside for 5 minutes.

Crack an egg into the mixture and mix thoroughly.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Follow with 2 tablespoons of butter.

Sprinkle cheese on top of mixture.

Sausage Scramble

1 dozen eggs

1/4-teaspoon of water

1 package of sausage

2 green onions minced

1/8-teaspoon red pepper flakes

Salt and Pepper

Red Pepper Sauce

1/4 cup of sharp cheddar cheese, shredded.

Crumble sausage and cook through in large skillet. Set aside.

Crack eggs and mix thoroughly; mix in water. Add onions, red pepper flakes and salt and pepper.

Cook in separate skillet on low heat. Be careful not to overcook. The eggs will have a curdled appearance when done.

Add to the sausage mixture.

Sprinkle red pepper sauce over mixture. Mix. Sprinkle cheese over top.

Fried Green Tomatoes

4 large green tomatoes sliced 1/4 inch in thickness

Cornmeal

Salt and Pepper

Hot oil

Sprinkle tomato slices with salt and pepper

Dredge in cornmeal

Fry until brown. Enjoy.

Ambrosia Punch

This punch will be sure to pack a punch!

1qt. of Orange Juice

1 liter of 7 up

1 pint of Rum

1 pint of Grenadine

1 orange, sliced, peel and all

Serve over ice and enjoy.

Enjoy your Christmas brunch, and don’t worry about the calories. Christmas comes only once a year! See the next issue for the after Christmas brunch workout, sure to burn calories.

Written by Lisa A. Trimarchi