Insights – Page 2 – Agenda Magazine Archives

The Law of Uncertainty

Sisyphus thought he would cheat death and squeal on Zeus when he committed adultery. He was doomed to spend an eternity in the Underworld pushing a boulder up a hill only to roll back down just before it reaches the top.

Tantalus tried to trick the gods by offering up his son Pelops as a main course. The gods were not fooled and Tantalus was punished by being placed in an underworld pool with food and drink placed just out of his reach. He would remain forever hungry and thirsty.

Sometimes I have found myself in patterns that are active demonstrations of the private hells of both Sisyphus and Tantalus, and I’ve wondered how I can break the cycle.

I have many jobs in life, but like many who long to spend their days doing what they love, I have to spend a fair amount of time earning a living at what may seem to some very unfulfilling work. I am a salesperson. I set appointments at least 8 hours a day, and when I get off at 5 p.m., I go to school to engage in what truly fulfills me, or at least this is what I thought until a few days ago.

I realized the repetitive task of meeting a quota day in and day out in itself can be my own personal meditation, as is making a long journey alone, I can find solitude and therefore, peace in the task itself.

What made me reach this point? I had an altercation with a fellow employee and suffered much angst for several days. I was breaking the pattern by asserting my voice. By asserting my voice I had to accept the battle that resulted.

I do not like confrontation; in fact, I avoid it. I had to take a long, hard look at what I was doing, and to my surprise, I discovered that I enjoy what I do.

The Taoist believes the only constant is change and even the most repetitive tasks vary if only within narrow limits. To contemplate and investigate the various sequences of change will engender tranquility that arises when loss, decay, and death are recognized as being no less essential to the whole than gain, growth, and life. Investigation permits one to see within certain limits that which will be inevitable.

I discovered what is inevitable about my job is that I will change, no matter how hard I resist. So I am thankful for the small volcanoes that erupt in the sea of repetition.

I understand that certain events are inevitable, and this brings me tranquility. I am a part of a cycle of change even when I am performing a mundane task.

What is mundane about my job is the constant dialing. I find the constant decline very mundane. When I become observant and aware even in the mundane, I find opportunity; and in this opportunity I find growth. I have become an investigator of sorts. I have discovered the minute detail in the repetitive pattern of the leaf. One leaf is very much like any other leaf, and one person telling me “no” is very much like another person telling me “no.” However, if you look very closely at two leaves that are side by side, you will see subtle differences. This demonstrates that each leaf is unique. I have discovered that each encounter, even though the outcome is no, is unique. In that discovery I have found personal fulfillment.

I remember driving home one day from a hard day at work. I was challenged just to work 8 hours. Up until then I was unaware that I had changed to accept the conditions of my work. I was simply putting my time in.

I drove with the music turned off and found my mind wandering as it does here and there. I happened on a moment of joy at work when I was engaging in the verbal exercise of overcoming an objection. I discovered I was more excited by the act than the outcome. At that moment I had to admit that I enjoy my work.

What I have gained by rolling that boulder up the hill or reaching for that pear just out of reach is strength and the ability to cope in the face of uncertainty.

Will I make quota? Will I be able to overcome the objection? Will my client be satisfied with my efforts? This represents change. I am not performing the mundane; I am taking part in the sales cycle, a dynamic process.

I have felt that I am walking along a cloud and the only thing keeping me afloat is the belief that I am on solid ground. This very attitude lends me some stability in a life that is often fraught with uncertainty, and that is what keeps me going.

Hope with Feathers

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never stops at all,

. . .

-Emily Dickinson

Earlier this week as I looked up into the sky, I noticed the clouds were as thick as chowder . . . but the sun peeked out still. Its presence indicated that through this darkness there was hope for a brighter, sunnier cloud-free day. And that takes me into the present state of affairs in which the world finds itself. It’s almost Christmas!

People are struggling as more and more get laid off in America. But throughout the world there is much sadness. The total state of Apartheid the Palestinians are experiencing at the hand of Israel is criminal. The fact that peace-loving Israelis are practically being ignored and forced to take part in a system they don’t believe in is also criminal. But there is hope. Only this week the Israeli government allowed the media and humanitarian aid into the isolated region. Will there continue to be struggles, starvation, and even death? Yes, there will. But will there also be salvation on some level? Yes, as people become more and more aware of the situation, not even a stubborn parliament can stop their ears and continue to do nothing. Hope is like the water that breaks down the stone. It takes forever, but the result is dust; and in this case, there will eventually be a sort of freedom for the people of Palestine and Israel as they begin to unify and put aside their differences.

It has happened in South Africa. The people arose. Both black and white defied a racist and unjust government to protest the inhumane treatment of one part of the population. Although there is still much to be done, the freedoms that were implemented were tantamount to climbing Mount Everest, a seemingly insurmountable feat accomplished by the outrage of the country and the greater outrage of the rest of the world.

That sun is burning brighter and those clouds still linger but cannot overcome the intensity of the sun’s rays. So it is that hope will triumph because those at war, those suffering through famine and disease, those going through inner struggles hidden from the surface just have to cry out a little louder, protest a little longer, volunteer a little more, and go on another day. Tomorrow is a better day. And wasn’t it just a few more days until the sky cleared and became the brightest blue? The sun stretched to fill the entire sky? It was there all along, and hope is a sign that we may one day live in peace, where there is no war, famine, or disease.

I struggled with hope this year. It has been a rough one for me and the rest of the country. I’ve been slighted and had to forgive. Forgiving is difficult, and unless I had taken that first crucial step, I would have stayed in a cloudy state. No love can enter in a blackened heart. I discovered that the mere desire to forgive could begin to clear up the pain. I discovered by wanting to love and get past all the slights, I could be like that sun peeking through the dismal clouds. In a few days or weeks or months I would find myself feeling joy.

My heart had been broken by a dishonest lover. The saying goes, “Hell hath no fury, than a woman scorned.” And in my case this was very true. I was so angry that I couldn’t even feel the joy that I found from my treks in the mountains, or from witnessing the sunrise, or by listening to the bells ringing at my front door—these things that sustained me in the past. I was so angry I couldn’t get past the tears that became my constant companion. But one day I spoke aloud into the stillness of my misery, “I want to forgive, I want to love, I want to be happy, and I want to get past this.” And I did in a matter of days. And not only did I forgive this dishonest lover, but I forgave all the dishonest lovers that had hurt me before, and I began to experience the joy that was always there waiting for me to notice as I took my walks, listened to the birds singing, worked on a song, or hugged my mother. The mere desire to see the light that was always there was all that I needed to see it.

As it has been for me, so can it be for the rest of us. If we can get past our differences and have the merest desire to move past our anger, we can learn to live together in harmony, a little at a time, and like the slow dripping of that meager drop of water, we can turn the stone of our bitterness into dust. We can make room for love in our hearts and burn away the hopelessness in our lives.

As the song goes,

Let there be peace on earth

and let it begin with me.

Let There be peace on earth

the peace that was meant to be.

With God as our father

brothers all are we.

Let me walk with my brother

in perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me

let this be the moment now.

With ev’ry step I take

let this be my solemn vow

to take each moment and live

each moment in peace eternally.

Let there be peace on earth

and let it begin with me.

-Lyrics by Jill Jackson Miller

http://www.angelfire.com/in/omega2/LetThereBePeaceOnEarth.html

Written by Lisa Trimarchi

Insights – Righteous Wars

Righteous Wars

I have been feeling a lot of anger lately over the many conflicts in the world, the many wars. I have been feeling that unless mankind learns to handle our differences civilly and without violence, we will be our own end. The environment is groaning because of our greedy misuse, and with the factor of war added in, it starts to rapidly decline.

I have heard reports of the conflict on the Gaza Strip, and I know there are justifications on both sides for the continued dropping of bombs. One is the occupied, and the other is the occupier. Both are harassing each other. I know how I would feel if my freedom were taken away: I couldn’t feed my family and I couldn’t get proper medical care. I would feel desperate.

I know also how I would feel if I had to run to a shelter every day, my neighbor’s child was killed by a terrorist’s bomb, or the place I go to shop was blown up by a suicide bomber. I would want revenge.

I understand the anger on both sides. However, from the perspective of an outsider, I wonder if there is any other way to solve these problems than by the dropping of bombs and the use of white phosphorous. When you bomb your enemy, you create more enemies for generations to come.

So it is on both sides: hatred and violence fueled by a seeking of retribution for the killing of innocents. The sad thing about that is that when you become the aggressor, you become like the very enemy you detest. You become enmeshed in the tar of distaste by killing innocent children, women . . . ? civilians that appear a lot like the ones you lost. And where is the end to revenge?

It is a faulty premise to assume that if you hit your enemy with an iron fist so severe as to insure your enemy cannot retaliate, your enemy will not retaliate.

I heard an argument recently that intrigued me. Instead of isolating and imprisoning your foes, why not talk to them and include them into your society? That way you could get to know each other and learn to live together. We have the same problem here in America. We want to isolate ourselves from those “others” across the border, across the sea, in our own cities across the tracks and in the ghettos.

Until we realize that those of us that we choose not to see are also our brothers, we will always be in conflict, because that person wants what you want, an equal chance at the resources that provide you with a good quality of life. If this man cannot feed his family, cannot safely educate his children, and cannot safely get needed medical care, this man will more than likely become your enemy. If this woman finds that each of her children dies a violent death, she will not only help your enemy but take up arms herself.

People do not easily accept a lesser status in society while they see others doing well. They begin to think that they should have what you have, and they will seek to obtain it. What are we going to do with that fact?

How can I feel satisfied with my level of comfort when others are suffering so much? We must find a way to include others in our prosperity and well being; and believe me, a warm bed, a dry roof, and plenty of food are prosperity enough for some. Can’t we at least share that much?

Can’t we also provide the same level of safety and education that we enjoy and have access to? Can’t we rise above ourselves and live peacefully by negotiation and dialogue rather than by the use of weapons and bombs?

There are no righteous wars, only a descending into depravity by continuing to kill, murder, and maim innocents in the effort to obtain land, resources, and political advantage. Shame on us until we learn to live in peace and communicate even with those we find the most distasteful; because until we do, we are doomed to extinction at our own hands.

Lisa Trimarchi

Heal the Body . . . Heal the Mind . . . Heal the World!

Healing begins in the mind. An individual releases illness by first surrendering to the present moment and then experiencing relief. The healer acts as a conduit to allow that energy to flow to others. The patient permits that healing, and the energy is cleansed. Love and warmth are the healing agents that heal others as well as the healer.

I have discovered that the body reveals the source of its pain. We emit frequencies that change, depending on where our sickness lies.

Reiki is one particular healing medium that works in concert with the healer’s and the patient’s energy. Everyone can heal. We all have light within ourselves to help one another mentally as well as physically. We only have to become aware.

I am a healer. When the body becomes unbalanced, I work with the individual to bring the body and the mind into equilibrium. Compassion is the greatest tool in my medicine bag; for when people feel loved and accepted, they can then accept the healing, blocks are released, and loving energy is allowed to enter. To practice as a healer is to share empathy and compassion.

Have you heard that the cook should not prepare the meal in anger? The same goes for energy work. I cannot remain angry when practicing healing because soon my own illness of mind begins to fade. When compassion is shared with others, it expands and illuminates areas within us where darkness resides.

Whoever you experience God to be, universally, God is expressed as light. Light is love and love is light. I’ve experienced the light as yellow in hue, and in the past when I’ve sensed healing of the heart and of the body, I’ve felt the temperature grow a few degrees warmer. I really believe that someday when doctors have a better understanding of how energy and frequencies are experienced in the body, they will no longer need lasers and knives to perform surgery. The surgeon will use instruments that correct imbalances in the energy field by using sound and light at different frequencies and wavelengths.

When I place my hands on or above the body, I sense darkness where there is illness and hear a change in the sound of the energy flow. Not all are sensitive as I am to this, but one can learn how to increase his or her sensitivity because with the desire to heal comes the ability. It is a matter of one’s intention.

As the individual goes, so goes the world. There is an individual mind and an individual body, so there is a group mind and body. Potentially we can heal the world with first experiencing healing within ourselves. Hope is the salve that heals, and if I become awakened to the misery of others, I could help to alleviate that misery by offering assistance borne from empathy and compassion.

Have you ever traveled to an area and felt ill and couldn’t tell why? It happened to me a few years ago when I visited Nuremburg, Germany. I felt heaviness in my chest (the region of the heartchakra ) the whole time I was there and couldn’t quite eliminate the sadness I experienced. This was the place where thousands of Jews were sent on the long journey to their slow deaths. A place maintains a memory, for darkness never really leaves an area until it is illuminated. I believe that I sensed the sorrow of the people who were driven to their deaths.

We can illuminate the world in mind and in body by empathizing with others and showing them compassion. Until we stop despising others, we will continue to experience darkness within ourselves. This will cause disease of the mind and the body, and by extension cause disease to the collective mind and body. Cities, countries, and the world represent the collective. Love is the universal salve that heals the collective.

Stevie Wonder has so eloquently stated that our world is truly in need of love today. Mata Amritanandamayi (Ammachi), a holy woman from India who embraces people around the world in order to take on their karma and heal the mind, body, and spirit has stated that with compassion and empathy, you can heal the world.

Healing starts within; and once our hearts are opened, we can develop empathy, and in turn help others to heal. As the late Michael Jackson said so well in his song “Heal the World,”

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Lisa Trimarchi

lisaantoinettetr@yahoo.com

Tomorrow Is Another Day

For too long we have been a country that has had too much, so much that whole government agencies have gotten together to decide how to dispose of our excess. That excess has been useable produce, overproduced goods, and even an excess of money when we were as a nation free of debt. From the first immigrants who came to this country, the English, Spanish, and so on, to now, we have had the attitude, “Expand, expand, expand.” With this attitude we have wasted and polluted our land, run through our resources, and have found it impossible to live with the native inhabitants as well as each other. The big wide America has become a place somewhat filled with despairing people who have lost their homes, their jobs and their hopes, causing us to take pause and assess our expansive approach.

We have been members at a feast. Our tables have been filled with a variety of delicacies to choose from. We have had man and beast. We have had mountains and deserts. We have had land and sea. We have expanded our borders imperialistically and with the same attitude of expansion to incorporate other countries and their resources. Our table is spoiling and we cannot stand to put the meal to our lips. We can no longer engorge ourselves on a rotting meal, causing some to open our eyes and take pause and others to unsuccessfully revive the feast. What can we preserve? What do we need to toss? We can preserve nothing forever. We need to ration and allow what is fallow to breathe and replenish.

Individuals have taken limited dollars to buy unnecessary items packaged in commodities that will be discarded. Not even 100 years ago would people dream of buying packaged meals but would cook their own from scratch. Not even 50 years before that would people dream of buying clothing from the store. They would sew their own. We have had so much money that we’ve forgotten how wasteful it is to purchase items we could make ourselves, given the expertise. It takes less for me to bake my own bread and prepare my own meals than it does to purchase these items in the store. I begin to take breath in slowly during the few minutes of kneading bread. As I breathe in the aroma, I forget to run here and there to accomplish nothing while expending time. My car is allowed to rest, and I can put up my feet.

We need to realize that time is also a resource that we waste because we believe we will live forever. We waste our health, believing that the vitality we experience today will carry on into the future no matter what we do. We deceive ourselves when we do not recognize that everyone will age and will need the help of another. Some of us blindly carry on our lives as if no one else exists until we end up being forced to depend on others.

There is a natural law of the universe that nothing is permanent and nothing is lost. Animals live to procreate and die. Their flesh and bones decay and turn to dust, and new life springs forth from that dust. Whatever is lost ultimately returns to earth in some form or another. However, we have found a way to discard materials that do not break down and therefore scar the land; but everything will ultimately come to an end, even heavy duty plastic. This earth will come to an end some day, a few billion years in the future. Life as we know it will not exist within a few million years. Even microbes will not exist much beyond that, but the earth will go on until it is absorbed by the sun, which will also fade away.

The God that we believe in may appear as the light we experience upon arising only to diminish some day. We could understand that while we live, we pass away. What will we leave for others? What will we leave for another day? What can we salvage from our table? What must we allow to decay?

Whatever you are experiencing today—whether it is prosperity or the lack thereof—take a breath. Life as we experience it is only temporal. Therefore, this too shall pass and tomorrow is another day.

By Lisa Trimarchi

Insights: Impermanence

Two of the difficult lessons of life are those of letting go and impermanence. Nothing . . . no one lasts forever, and many would welcome their parents and their pets agreeing to accompany them throughout their lives. I walk through a forest of trees and smell the scent of freesia or gardenia, but the smell doesn’t linger. It only makes its presence known in that moment. These experiences are only temporary, and it is the same with our loved ones and our pets.

Animals can teach us plenty about letting go and impermanence. We experience the joy of a beloved pet one day and the sadness of losing it sometime later. Dogs are always so happy to greet us. They wag their tails, lick our faces, and eagerly wait on us when we leave them alone. We have no choice but to let go because dogs only live 15 years or so, and no matter how strong our love and attachment, life must and will go on.

Some people find it strange how people can become so attached to their pets. I’ve been attached to a bird that I missed for years when he was no longer with me. My bird’s name was Rahab. He used to fly to me and sit on my shoulder and coo as I entered a room. I became attached because he showed me unconditional love. My mother speaks to her cats as if they are human, and I’m sure she’d miss them if they were gone. I’ve seen her fuss over them as if they were her own children. This is not strange, for animals as well as humans are capable of showing affection.

Be that as it may, nothing on earth will last forever. The mountains themselves will fade and the oceans will give way to deserts. We learn to let go when, as we grow older, our loved ones depart one by one. I know that one day I will outlive my mother whom I’ve secretly prayed would live forever. I have more than a few friends who’ve had to face the loss of their mothers, and I don’t want to lose mine. I want to hold onto her like a dying man holding onto a ledge, but ultimately her time will come and I will have to let go to face the depths.

Letting go involves facing ourselves and facing the fact that we are self-contained and can withstand almost anything. Once we live through the sadness of losing someone we care about, and then face the anger that comes on its heels, we will experience depression. Getting through that will take great strength, but we will be better for it. And in all reality our loved ones remain with us, alive in our hearts and in our minds.

I ached when my father died. He had been ill, and I never gave up the feeling that he would outlast the surgeries, the medications, and the pain of diabetes and heart disease. I held onto his memory for a long time, but soon that began to change. Now, I remember his face only vaguely and the most prominent memories are what it was like to hear him whistle when he was in a good mood, or how I always felt a cool breeze around him. He seemed to be always coming in from the cold. I smile when I remember because though gone, he is still present and will always in spite of our differences be a part of my soul.

Like the sweet smell of roses or apple pie or blueberry muffins, the aroma of him only lasts a moment. In letting that moment pass, I allow myself to experience another and another. Though here and gone, he will pass this way again.

Written by Lisa Trimarchi

E Kala Mai I Au (Forgive Me if I Have Harmed You in Any Way)

Christmas is a time of year when I remember all the things I’ve done wrong and all that has been done wrong to me. Certainly I’ve gotten angry, but often I’ve fallen into sadness over missed connections and missed opportunities. I’ve thought about friends but haven’t called them. The ones with whom I’ve had a falling out, I’ve been tempted on several occasions to pick up the phone, and like a child say, “I love you. I don’t even remember what happened yesterday.” I often think of my father in that way. What would change if we had reached out to our loved ones before they’d passed and said, “All is forgiven; please forgive me.” As it happens, I reached out to my dad, and he reached out to me before he died.

Over ten years ago, before my father died, we let each other know we loved each other and that we forgave each other for everything that separated us during my childhood. While growing up, I often experienced my father’s anger, and he would often see mine. We were of the perfect storm; add the fact that I would rebel at his attempt to control me, and the weather report would show a potential hurricane in sunny Cerritos, California, where I grew up. We were two air signs, he Aquarius and I Libra, doing verbal battle and kicking up clouds in every direction.

I realize now that my father struggled with his own demons, and I often ended up in his crosshairs. I struggled to understand what it was that made him so angry with me. I thought I needed to be silent and invisible, but what he was struggling with had little to do with me. I was simply a mirror reflecting his soul, and he saw in me his own image.

My mother would often tell me how so much alike we were. Maybe he’d seen it, too, and wasn’t so much angry with me but with himself. I never figured that out, but what I did discover was that in spite of all the noise, beneath the storm was a calm center of deep love. I will always cherish the conversations we had before his death that made me see my dad through loving eyes. When I said to him, “I’m sorry, please forgive me for how I’ve hurt you,” he replied, “Please forgive me, for how I’ve hurt you.”

There is a traditional practice in Hawaii called Ho’oponopono which means to put things right. Families would have a conference together and set their relationships right through prayer, discussion, confession, repentance, mutual restitution, and forgiveness. This ancient practice of Ho’oponopono has preceded Christianity in the Hawaiian culture and continues to be practical today. As families and communities both look for a means of resolving their problems, they consider the practice one of the soundest methods to restore and maintain good relationships inside and out of the family that any society has ever devised.

I discovered Ho’oponopono when I attended a meditation group conducted by Daryl Frazier (Hunaguy.com), a healer and motivational speaker who uses Hawaiian methods of healing in his practice. He teaches that we are all connected to everyone we know by aka chords and that these chords must be cut to restore inner and outer harmony. In the process of cutting these chords, we say, “Please forgive me if I have harmed you. I forgive you for any harm you have done to me.” I found the meditation to be very powerful and thought of my dad and others whose chords I needed to cut so I could get on to the work of forgiveness. Once past hurts are resolved in this way, greater peace and harmony can be achieved. Once this has been accomplished, we can now honestly say, “Aloha Ka Kou,” which means I greet all of us with my breath.

Hua Hui Ho (until we meet again) in that sunny plain on the other side of the horizon, Dad and all who’ve passed, “Aloha Ka Kou.”

Reunion

Colours seen by candelight
Will not look the same by day.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

When I was 17, a senior in high school and ready to graduate, I was very eager to set sail and go. As for many, high school was a very traumatic time for me. I had challenges to face at home and challenges to face at school. I had to avoid bullies that would follow me home, and I had many disagreements with my parents. I guess as with all teenagers I began to embrace my own vision of the world and shun the one my parents tried to give me.

I took refuge in being friendly, making friends, and sharing warmth with others; but because I was trapped in my head with intense feelings of loneliness, I was unaware of the many lives I’d touched. I had a few good friends, but I didn’t realize just how much they thought of me until many years later while attending my 30-year high school reunion. After all the warm hugs, friendly smiles and recognition of me by people I hardly remembered, I realized that while I was reaching out to others in high school, they were deeply affected and may have reached out to me as well. I was constantly asked, “Where have you been in so many years?” Also, a dear friend I left behind so long ago embraced me and said, “Please don’t leave me again.”

Along with the others I left behind, I left myself behind. I thought I left behind a person who was not popular, who was not liked, and maybe had a handful of friends. Boy was I wrong! I felt like the guy in It’s a Wonderful Life , who was given the chance to see what life would have been without him, only to discover that the many people affected by him would have perished in one way or another. It felt very good to be reminded that I’ve had a wonderful life and that those I’ve encountered have been deeply touched by me. I discovered also that I have been deeply touched by them.

I lived across the street from a very cute boy and his very cute surfer friends. Sometimes we would speak. I was very close to his mother, and to my surprise, they remembered me! Those very same surfer dudes liked me. I wish I hadn’t been so shy. I would have been the only black surfer girl on the street. I don’t know if my parents could have coped with me being exposed to the turbulent waves of Southern California, however. This Lisa that I left behind I soon began to realize has been hanging ten in an alternate reality.

I remember belonging to the Asian Club, the Iranian Club, the International Club, and the choir. I was like a butterfly floating and touching everything and everyone. I couldn’t stop smiling. And now I can’t forget the good things that happened to me even in the midst of some bad things. So that 17-year-old girl is accompanying me now, along with her memories and her personality.

The following Monday after the reunion, I plummeted. I’ve gotten older, a little heavier, and a little more self-conscious, it seems. I need to work out, go on a diet, get a better career, and on and on. Now, it is the Monday after that, and I have embraced the person that I have become, and reunited with the “me” I left behind. I am embracing what I’ve become and realize that I have a whole lifetime to accomplish the things I have yet to achieve.

I realize that I saw myself and others through the night lit dimly by candlelight; and now by the light of a day lit with sunshine, I see things more clearly. So, I am embracing the people I left behind and hope we find opportunities to celebrate together much sooner than the next high school reunion.