Boy with an ‘i’ – Author David Montalvo

Boy with an ‘i’
by David Montalvo

A new kind of book—or at least new to me, as I have not read one like this before—is David Montalvo’s boy with an ‘i’ . It is a “partial fictional autobiography,” told with more than words. A multi-media work, there are eight tracks of art-music and an online photo-album accompanying the journal entries, emails, instant messages, and blogs that tell the moving story of David’s breakdown and recovery.

The story begins in Seattle, where David meets for the first time the young man Chasten, with whom he has been communicating on the Internet. They fall in love, are briefly happy, then break up. Unable to reconcile himself to his loss, David goes through quite an emotional breakdown. The reader follows these changes through the dramatics of the Internet and David’s journal entries. In an attempt to deal with his loss, David moves to Boston and finally, to New York, where three years later, he finally believes he has overcome his breakup with Chasten—only to have Chasten reenter his life.

In the final chapter of the book, boy with an ‘i’ , his email address, takes on a new meaning: “Boy with an Eye.” David discovers finally the true meaning and worth of his experience and is now truly on the road to recovery. The reader, too, will be moved to discover how good can come from a failed relationship. As David says, “It isn’t the idea of success or wealth or achievement that I find addicting—it’s the idea that I am now determined to climb those newer, higher mountains. … Leaving Chasten, I found, put me in a state of no-fear, sans fear, where I know that nothing I fail at will ever be as painful as our failed relationship. So I do things now. I walk! And it feels so good.”

(Reviewed by Lee L. Peoples)

Talking Chic – A Change of Season – A Change of View

Talking Chic

A Change of Season – A Change of View

When does fashion fade from our wardrobe? Should it ever? Are there points in our lives when being stylish is supposed to take a backseat to the big picture? Lately, I can’t help but wonder if my attraction to designer handbags, ornate clutches, and vintage denim will always be an intricate part of my personality….if my bulletin board will always be posted with Nordstrom’s latest eyewear must-have’s…or if my nightlife pleasure will always be about who’s wearing what and who definitely shouldn’t be wearing what.

Whereas “fashion” may be considered a learned concept – a sort of aspiration one can succeed or struggle in, I’m convinced that “style” exists deep in a person’s soul. And when one expresses his or her style through colorful cloth, textured fabrics, and decorative accessories, this sort of big-bang collision creates a beautiful statement about who a person is.

But what happens when old age kicks in and peep-hole pumps are replaced with Easy Spirits, and one’s 2-seater BMW is overridden with Sunday morning white-van pick-ups? When seasons change and aging has gone full force, it seems like the luxurious feeling of fashion will turn into practicality. Simple, boring, and nothing worth discussing.

However, the lingering questions that have drilled themselves into my brain since visiting my grandfather in an Illinois nursing home about two months ago are this: When does the importance of expressing one’s style fade? When an elderly person’s behavior rewinds to the child-like innocence of years passed, where does one’s creativity hide?

Amidst watching a 99-year-old woman barely able to hold her head up while sitting in a wheelchair but sporting long purple acrylic nails, and witnessing my granddad’s shaky hands browse through my portfolio, yet still wearing the cherished bling on his pinky finger I ever-so-fondly know him to flaunt – it hit me!

Just because a person is not adamant in proving his or herself through fashion at 80 years old like he or she may have at 20, doesn’t mean that the respect and admiration for looking good doesn’t exist. I’m learning that while style may stay with us as we age, the excessive materialism and all the stuff that accrues in our closets over the years really do become, well, “stuff.”

And (gasp!) more important things will at some point in our lives take precedent over those favorite jeans and fabulous handbags. Matters like health, happiness, and unfortunately, sadness will hold reign.

But with sorrow there’s joy, and I know that new happiness will develop with being able to pass down my own favorites one day, such as the jewelry – the tiny artifacts – that a grandmother must save for her granddaughters. As the clouds cried those days in Chicago and my thoughts cleared during our runs from hotel room to nursing home and back to hotel room, the few trips to my grandparents’ house in Park Forest gave me more of a positive outlook in growing older. As I peered at my grandmother excitedly watching my sister and I open our envelopes with gold-chained memories inside (whether her thoughts were really on that very moment or the fact that something special lifted her spirits in the midst of waiting for my grandfather to return home), her chunky turquoise necklace on top of a beautiful cream sweater gave me a rush of excitement!

I bet it’s been forever since my grandma browsed through a fashion magazine, but when style runs deep, it runs true. And I can’t wait for my own granddaughters to be patient, sit beside me, and adore their cool G-ma.

Written by Elana Pruitt

Romance on the Road : Where Any Day is Your Special Day

Romance on the Road: Where Any Day Is your Special Day

(by Marilyn Anderson)

Ohhhhh, weddings, engagements, anniversaries—they all mean romance! But why limit romance to special occasions? Pick any night, and whisk your honey off to an enchanting getaway. Just an hour and a half drive from Los Angeles is one of the most romantic places in the world.

Santa Barbara, coined America’s Riviera, has beautiful beaches, Mediterranean architecture, a world-class museum, and a myriad of marvelous restaurants, wineries and hotels. My boyfriend and I recently rendezvous-ed at an intimate Bed & Breakfast where we were treated not just romantically, but royally!

Nestled on an acre of English gardens only blocks from the heart of Santa Barbara’s main shopping area, is a beautiful Victorian hideaway—the Simpson House Inn. The grounds are elegant, the rooms lovely, and the food scrumptious. Their personal little touches make the Simpson House Inn stand out as a distinctive and memorable romantic haven.

We stayed in their Plumstead Cottage—a living room and loft bedroom—with charming antique furnishings and decor. The bedroom was cozy and warm, and the living room—totally unique. It not only had a fireplace, but in the corner surrounded by windows—was a large, inviting Jacuzzi! Talk about romantic! They provided candles, truffles, sherry cakes, and bubble bath—we could sensuously soak as we watched TV, listened to their selection of romantic Cd’s, or just played with our rubber ducky! They even provided that!

In the morning, the inn serves a gourmet breakfast, featuring a special entrÈe every day. If you like privacy, you can dine in your room or on your private patio; or if you’re like us and enjoy company, you can eat in the main house, on the veranda, or in the gardens. We happily lounged in the back yard gazebo and were treated to a heavenly melt-in-your-mouth egg souffle with peppers and black beans. Mmmm… and the “yummy” didn’t stop there!

Simpson House Inn offers tea and crumpets in the afternoon, wine and appetizers in the early evening, and desserts, beverages and sherry all night. Everything is complimentary. And homemade! In the guest rooms, a filled cookie jar sits on the table and beverages fill the fridge. Oh, and when you get home from a night on the town (if you ever want to leave your room)—they offer videos or DVDs to take back to your room, along with freshly popped popcorn!

Delicate little extras make you smile all the time. My eyes lit up as I spied not just the usual turn-down service with truffles on the pillow but beautifully laid-out robes, bath slippers and personally addressed notes to each of us, saying “Sweet Dreams.” And after the morning maid service, we discovered captivating memos with quotes from George Bernard Shaw. I’m sure he would have loved staying there, too!

The historic, East lake-style Victorian estate was originally built by Scotsman Robert Simpson in 1874. It was restored by the Davies family, and when their son left for school, they started taking in boarders. For 20 years now, it’s been a B & B—and it is truly delightful.

Whether it’s a special day or any day, it will definitely raise your Romance Rating with your sweetheart. Of course, Simpson House frequently hosts proposals, weddings, and anniversaries… or just a divine romantic getaway only a short ride away. Hmm, maybe we’ll see you for afternoon tea next weekend?

Simpson House Inn—Santa Barbara Bed & Breakfast

North America’s only AAA 5 Diamond Bed & Breakfast Inn

Accommodations: 15 rooms, suites and cottages

Phone: 800-676-1280 / Website:www.simpsonhouseinn.com

* * *

Marilyn Anderson is the author of NEVER KISS A FROG: A Girl’s Guide to Creatures from the Dating Swamp. Visit her website atwww.neverkissafrog.com.

This article was previously published and is reprinted here with the permission of the Author.

Immigration: Should They Stay or Should They Go?

Illegal Immigration: Should They Stay or Should They Go?

Now, I’ve always been the first to accuse mankind of having a collective memory similar to the goldfish, but I still give the goldfish some points for not having such a predilection for selective memory. In fact, the more I look at it, the more we seem to have devolved into some type of cognitive hybrid, somewhere between those forgetful little guppies and mindless sheep that are willing to shift our focus, and our tax dollars, toward whatever cause a politician tells us should occupy our time and attention. It’s almost a given that any particular cause almost always comes in an election year, but how strange it is that this nation’s government has asked its citizens to shift focus amongst three different causes within such a short time span. For the benefit of keeping us one level above the sheep and the fish, I’ll focus on one: immigration.

You know what’s sad? I cannot predict lottery numbers to save my life, but I knew sure as the dickens that immigration would be the next election-year issue that would effectively distract the public. Sometime ago, several friends and colleagues were deluged with my daily ranting about how the administration would shift its focus from abortion and gay marriage to immigration as the next big issue for 2006. Hopefully, some of those friends entered pools or perhaps made small side bets. Before it can be debated with clear, concise looks at the problems and solutions, first we must consider if immigration is really an issue. Better yet, is it any more an issue today than it was twenty years ago? Even better still, why do people care now? Despite the sideways apologies and dismissals from politicians who are striving to retain their conservative voting base in active form, this issue reeks of racism–and it mirrors, to an extent, the same divisive political pandering that took place when Proposition 209 (in California), the anti-Affirmative Action bill, gained center stage during another election year. How soon the public forgot…

Although undocumented immigrants come in all nationalities and political ideologies, it seems that the only group ever to garner interest among legislators and voters consistently has been the “brown” people. And why not? They’re easiest to spot, and they make for great immediate vilification when the public needs to be distracted from the attention being paid to high gasoline costs and runaway budgets and an unending war. But, in fairness to both those who vilify illegal immigrants and those who wish to offer amnesty to anyone who touches American soil, let me suggest some options that would be easy to instate–but would also prematurely end the national debate on immigration in a matter of weeks–long before politicians would like to see an end to the pandering.

Option No. 1: Let’s let ’em all in! It’s not an untruth to say that there are some jobs that Americans won’t do; and if they are not willing to do certain jobs, and a company has the opportunity to get workers who will do them, then those workers who are risking their lives to perform a menial task should by all means be given the opportunity. However, there is the other side of the coin. Perhaps it’s not that American workers are unwilling to do a job, but rather, unlike in Mexico, where $5 a day is considered adequate, there’s more incentive for an American to remain unemployed and collect a government check than to work for a wage that cannot afford even the most basic living amenities. Putting aside the costs of perks like gasoline, health care, and food, in taking a look at the lowest cost of living, the minimum wage in this country is below poverty level. And, no matter how much practical sense it makes, working three jobs to be above the poverty level is impossible when trying to raise children, pay for a home, and ensure residence in a neighborhood where it is safe for those children to play outside.

Option No. 2: Kick ’em out; keep ’em out! Way out! While this sentiment pleases most members of the Minutemen, the logistics are completely screwed, and ignorant of history. This nation was not originally inhabited by Europeans, and everyone knows this. Nor is this nation a “nation of immigrants,” a statement that should enrage any indigenous person who hears or reads it. Much as history books seem to omit the details of early America, Europeans were not much different from current undocumented immigrants–save for killing the native inhabitants with war and disease, stealing the land and forcing those who survived to assimilate into a religion and culture with which they were unfamiliar. So far, most undocumented immigrants I’ve met just want to find a good job–and they’d probably feel better if more people spoke Spanish. But, most importantly, those on the anti-immigrant side seem to forget that parts of this country belonged to Mexico in the first place, and that many of the “wars” waged to acquire California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas were slaughters of indigenous peoples during which European nations, namely England and Spain, battled to control the land they stole. Maybe Mexicans just want it back, but they don’t want to go about it the same way the conquistadors did.

Option No. 3: An easy solution that would anger the politicians who want you to stay focused on illegal immigration through the election: or, how we learn to stop giving credence to wedge issues and apply actual solutions to perceived problems. It sounds so simple to suggest that the federal government institute a tax program that would collect fees from undocumented workers (and their employers) that essentially would pay an immigration tax for acquired citizenship. See, these huge upfront fees that legislators are asking for are just going to scare undocumented workers who desperately want to become citizens, and they would just perpetuate a cycle of “work-until-you-get-caught” behavior, which would just perpetuate a continuation of border crossing. However, if the fees were included in paycheck deductions at a rate of $2 per check, per immigrant (matched by the employer) for a 10-year period (subject to transfer if immigrant worker changes employment after beginning citizen-taxation program), that amount would be less intimidating and would generate quite a bit of revenue for the states that implement such a program. And it would quell the debate by appeasing those who wish to see all immigrants amnestied and those who think immigrants should pay their fair share to society. But, unfortunately for politicians, it would put an end to their grandstanding and base-appeasing rhetoric that keeps voters focused on everything but the real issues.

Option No. 4: The Hail Mary pass. I write this because it is very likely that you won’t see it mentioned in the mainstream media, although there’s documented proof that several officials witnessed the alleged interaction. So, what better way to describe it than a series of hypothetical and rhetorical questions, such as: What if illegal immigration is encouraged by the current administration? What if many of its members, their friends and their lobbyists and business partners benefit from cheap labor? What if these businesses find it much easier to avoid the costs of employing an American citizen so they hire a migrant and get said disenfranchised citizen to hate the illegal immigrant that got his/her job? What if Bush and President Vicente Fox agreed that illegal immigration would be tolerated (let’s say that Fox likes the additional revenue his country sees from immigrants who send money back to Mexico) if Mexico would deregulate its oil supplies and allow U.S. companies first bid/refusal to acquire them? What if this agreement was witnessed by several U.S. and Mexican officials? What if by writing this, I seal my fate?

There are a lot of “What ifs” around this issue, but the answers aren’t as far away as we think. In fact, the same people who want us to ask the questions just happen to be the same people who fear our finding the answers to them before November. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Written by Natalie Martin

Naissance on Melrose – Pioneers of Trendy Stylish Maternity Clothes

Naissance on Melrose – One of the Pioneers of Trendy Stylish Maternity Clothes

Naissance on Melrose is one of the premiere stylish maternity boutiques. Since its inception people have followed the trend. NOM was created because the owner, Jennifer Noonan, felt a need in the fashion industry for stylish maternity wear. During both of Jennifer’s pregnancies, she was very disappointed with her shopping experience, so she opened up a small boutique in Calabasas, California, and then NOM in Los Angeles.

I spoke with the manager, Missy Rae, who shares Jennifer’s belief that you shouldn’t have to give up style just because you’re pregnant.

The clothes that we offer are every bit as cool and trendy as the clothes you would wear before your pregnancy.

Regarding design, Missy Rae does some of the T-shirt designing, but Jennifer Noonan, the owner, does all of the designs.

What didn’t Jennifer like about shopping for maternity clothing?

The environment wasn’t very friendly. The clothing wasn’t interesting, and the selection just wasn’t good. You’re already not feeling very good when you’re pregnant. You want the experience to be comfortable and make you feel good about yourself, rather than feeling worse because the clothes aren’t fitting properly. It’s just an uncomfortable environment .

She wanted to make it a beautiful experience when people are shopping for maternity clothing. Jennifer started small and piece by piece put her collection together. Five years later, they’ve grown tremendously.

NOM’s clothes aren’t really designed for the corporate office. They’re catered more toward just being comfortable and showing a sense of style–like party clothes and everyday wear. They do a lot of jeans, which go below the belly and are very comfortable, compared to some of the other maternity jeans that are out there. They do a lot of fun tank tops and t-shirts, too.

How does NOM come up with the different designs?

There isn’t any particular color pallet that we stick to. Jennifer goes through phases where she’s into more natural colors, or having pinks or camouflage. Each season is a little different. We’ve been working a lot with vintage pieces such as vintage Levis, which are turned into crop maternity jeans or maternity skirts. Taking vintage t-shirts and turning them into tube tops is another big success. Debra Messing wore our Mickey Mouse version of that, and people just went nuts for it. We’ve been making different versions of that one ever since.

How does a mom-to-be find you?

As far as advertising, we’re really lucky because a lot of magazines ask us to include samples in various features. So we get a lot of advertising, whether it’s fit for pregnancy, In Style, or when a celebrity wears our clothing. People seek us out. You can either go online, or call us toll free. We really don’t do advertising. It’s more through word-of-mouth.

How did Jennifer Noonan come up with the name Naissance on Melrose?

Naissance is French for birth. Jennifer wanted a unique word that would be a little mysterious but also have to do with the process of giving birth.

To whom are you catering and what is your price range?

We cater to moms of all ages who want to look sexy. Our clientele ranges from very young up through the 40s. We sell to people all over the world. Through our website, we get orders from every country. The price points are very affordable, ranging as low as $40 up to $175. Many of our pieces work after the pregnancy, too. We hear from many of the moms who continue to wear the clothing. In fact, we’ve had a few customers who keep calling and ordering clothes for the next season even though they’re no longer pregnant.

Highest High

It is very fulfilling working in the maternity industry because it is a very happy business. Every day we help moms look good and feel their best.

Lowest Low

People who steal your designs and copy your ideas–the competition is getting a lot fiercer with people jumping on the bandwagon of doing stylish maternity clothing. That is the biggest pitfall. But you just learn as you go. You find out what people are into, and what they like and dislike. It’s trial and error. But for the most part it has been a fun growth process, and we will continue to grow every year.

To learn more about Naissance on Melrose, visit their website atwww.naissanceonmelrose.com, or visit their boutique at 8254 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90046, or call (800) 505-0517.

Interview by Kaylene Peoples

Bella Dahl Maternity – A Sexy Jean for the Mother-to-Be

Bella Dahl Maternity -A Sexy Jean for the Mother-to-Be

Bella Dahl has been around for almost six years, and two years ago Bella Dahl Maternity was created based on the need for cool, sexy maternity wear in the same vein as Bella Dahl, a very contemporary, sexy fitting jeans line. The thought was that expecting mothers would not want to wear a baggy, bulky jean. Head designer Lynn Keys came up with a very successful product with a sexy fit and cool styling; very contemporary, very hip. Some of the Bella Dahl Maternity jeans expose the belly; others do not.

Lynn grew up in the Midwest and attended design school, then went on to FIT in New York, where she studied for two years. In 1996 Lynn came out to Los Angeles and worked with a contemporary firm for three years. Lynn went out on her own for a couple of years and did some accessories, cashmere, and wristbands, then transitioned into Bella Dahl. She’s been here ever since the beginning.

We decided to continue our fashion jean in the contemporary market because we thought that our sexy clientele will get pregnant, and they’re going to want a sexy jean. We use lycra in our product. It’s a comfort stretch. Our tummy band is terry cloth with lycra which holds your tummy very well. It can slide under the belly or be up above. It has a self elastic band inside. You don’t have bulk around your mid-section; you’re more emphasizing it and exposing it.

What is the demographic?

Our Maternity age range is anywhere from 20s to mid 40s. It is a very body-conscious customer, same with our Bella Dahl client–someone who’s very sexy and fit and who can wear a jean very well. The way that we engineer our tummy, especially the belly part of our maternity jean, it really helps to make you feel very sexy.

Lynn is the head designer. The two owners are very involved in the direction and focus of their product. Lynn is very hands-on. She oversees the details: pocket details, stitching, washes, fabrications, including which products are being put into maternity.

Sometimes we carry over our bestseller in Bella Dahl contemporary into our maternity to help dress those pregnant clients throughout their pregnancy.

Bella Dahl can be found in specialty maternity stores, specialty boutiques, which carry a maternity section, Nordstrom, Pea in the Pod, etc. The difference between Bella Dahl and Bella Dahl Maternity is in the cut. A little more fullness is added to the hips, and the waistband is cut down. There is the same quality of stitching. The belly portion is carved out so there are no folds over the belly. The waistband is dropped by two or three inches. It sits right underneath the belly. It grows with you during your pregnancy.

When I was pregnant I didn’t find anything in the market like Bella Dahl. Bella Dahl Maternity retails from $126 to $175.

Highest High:

The best part of designing the line is seeing the end product. Wearing it, and feeling good, you don’t feel like you’re pregnant.

Lowest Low:

Once we’ve played around with the tummy band to get this fit just right, it was a challenge. But it was executed and as you can see, it turned out great.

What’s Next?

Bella Dahl has always been a very rock ‘n roll wearable jean. In terms of the maternity line, I think we’re going to continue our strong bodies and update the washes, probably go a little cleaner. The washes will be a little bit clearer–not so much tinting. In terms of pocket trends, we’re going into more stitching and color stitching.

Celebrities Debra Messing, Kate Hudson, and Sarah Jessica Parker have requested Bella Dahl Maternity. This is a testimony to a jean that grows with your pregnancy. Who says you have to be out of style to be pregnant?

Interview by Kaylene Peoples

Timmy Woods – Creating Collectible Handbags that are Pieces of Art

I met handbag designer Timmy Woods at the WWD Magic show in Las Vegas almost a year ago. Her gallery-like booth was filled with colorful, sparkly handcrafted items. These pieces of art immediately attracted the attention of everyone around. A colleague and I perused her display and were duly impressed. Breathtaking, well-crafted, one-of-a-kind, wood-crafted clutches are all accurate descriptions of Timmy Woods’ one-of-a-kind collectible handbags.

In 1985 Timmy started designing and manufacturing leather handbags, which were immediately placed in Bergdorf, Bendel’s, and Bloomingdale’s. She then accepted a position in a Fortune 500 company, Oxford Industries, to design Ken Done for the U.S.A. After a serious injury in a car accident, Timmy worked for her father, a real estate developer, and became extremely successful in the real estate market. But none of these positions proved as rewarding as designing collectible handbags.

Timmy went to UCLA, she attended the University of Heidelberg for a short while, she took courses at the University of Singapore, and she attended FIT. Her teacher looked at her one day and she said, “Why don’t you just get out of here and do what you have to do!”

I walked out of there and shook my head and wondered what was I going to do. That is when I started making my leather handbags.

Timmy’s grown children (a son who’s an attorney and a daughter who is a housewife) were part of the reason she began creating handbags. She knew she would miss them terribly. They were at the phase of their lives where they didn’t really need her around. So she gave birth to a new child–Timmy Woods Beverly Hills. The bags are individually designed, and most are commissioned works of art. It is quite a process she goes through when creating them.

First and foremost, it all starts with fallen Acacia trees. The tree trunks are sliced into sections, and each section of wood is cut into its basic shape. Using high-speed blades, the interior is hollowed out. The shaping process of the handbag begins to take form, which completes the initial scooping of the interior. The wood shapes are soaked for 24 hours in water to release any residue left on the wood and to prevent discoloration. The wood is oven and air dried to prevent warping. After drying is completed, the shape receives an initial sanding. The wood is then sent to the carving department to receive the initial carving of the basic character form. With each step of the shaping process, the character continues to emerge. The wood is re-sculpted in each step, constantly refining the process of smaller cuts within the wood. The process continues until all of the details of the character are completed and the final figure is completed.

The hinges for each bag are cut individually, and a matching piece is created to exactly fit into the hinge opening. Holes are bored into the wood to insert the hook for the closure device. The bags are hand sanded 3 times to ensure uniform smoothness. Each piece is coated with sealer to protect the wood pores. The bags are painted with a base coat, either white or black, then detailed and finished. In the final assembly department, the shoulder straps are attached, the lining is inserted, and the hinges are closed. The shoulder strap is dropped in, and the international certificate of originality is enclosed in the lining pocket.

Inside each of Timmy’s bag, is a certificate of acquisition, which the purchaser mails to her gallery. The owner becomes a member of the Beverly Hills collectors’ society, which gives the access to limited edition collectible handbags available only to Timmy Woods’ selected clientele. Timmy Woods’ bags are festive, yet fashionable. Her clients love the uniqueness of their collector’s item. Her bags have holiday, sport, university, animal, charity, and political themes. She has even sculpted King Tut.

If I make a sculpture, they’re usually custom for a client, but I really learned a lot about what people like and don’t like by doing these bags.

Celebrities flock to her designs because they are the perfect red carpet accessories, and the list of A-list celebrity clients is impressive. Liz Taylor, Diana Ross, Melanie Griffith, Maya Angelou, and Hillary Clinton, just to name a few, collect Timmy’s bags. She has even created bags for the White House and Governor Schwarzenneger.

Timmy believes that it is really important to give back to the community. She makes a little mirror of Sworovsky crystals with the breast cancer symbol, which can be worn around the neck or just carried in the wallet, and a handbag and a wallet, the proceeds all of which go to help cure cancer.

Timmy doesn’t just do wood bags; she also does leather bags with a variety of themes. She has recently started making fancy wooden tops with leather on the body. She also uses fur and faux fur on some of her bags.

I’m trying to teach my workers in the Philippines how to sew leather, and it has proven to be extremely challenging. They’ve been doing wood for so long, and there are so many different methods that need to be used when you are trying to cut leather into more than one piece. You’re not going to cut it with scissors; you’re going to cut it with a knife, and you have to think in terms of waste.

Highest High

When I showed my bags at a show in Paris and won an award. The French were really anti-American at the time. People walked past me and told me they would not buy my bags because I was American. I got voted one of the most creative designers at the show by the press. That was really exciting. My second high was having Carrie from “Sex in the City” wear one of my bags on the show.

Lowest Low

When you really can’t pay people, when you know that you’re really great, that your designs are appreciated, and you look at your bills and you think, “Oh my God, how am I going to get this covered today?” That gets hard, especially, the fact that I’m a designer. I’m not necessarily always good with numbers. I try to surround myself with people who are. My choices are not always great. It’s my Achilles’ heel, and I don’t like to owe people money.

Timmy is inspired by her love of art and fashion, which is obvious to anyone who sees her exquisitely crafted collectible handbags. They are created with love, and the utmost attention to detail is given to each individual handbag.

For more information about Timmy Woods Beverly Hills, visitwww.timmywoods.com to view her collection.

Interview by Kaylene Peoples

Brian Dean – Dispelling the Myths and Misconceptions of Hypnosis

Brian Dean: Dispelling the Myth, Mystery, and Misconception of Hypnosis

Brian Dean is a certified hypnotherapist, who for twenty years was a voice-over actor. He did numerous television commercials, broadcast commercials, movie trailers, and industrial training films. Thirteen years ago while in Seattle working in a recording studio, Brian was approached by a hypnotist in the booth next to his and who had just happened to hear his voice. He commented that Brian would make a terrific hypnotist.

I looked at him like he was crazy. I had never given that a thought in my life.

About a year and a half later, Brian enrolled in a hypnotherapy-training institute here in Los Angeles, one of the best in the world. He received his first level of certification and later his bachelor’s in clinical hypnotherapy.

Brian insists that there is nothing about the voice or its tonality that makes a good hypnotist. It’s just an extra bonus since hypnosis is so clearly based in communication. Coming from a voice-over background is his explanation as to why people enjoy his voice so much. Even now, people recognize his voice from his years as a voice-over actor. Brian jokes and says his mother always said he had a good face for radio.

When you start telling your friends and your family that you’re going to be a hypnotherapist, they can’t grasp what that means. And the first thing that people think of is you mean the guy that makes people cluck like a chicken and bark like a dog? This is a myth that was created back in the 20s. And as it relates to hypnotherapy, nothing could be further from the truth, or represent the industry worse than that kind of comment.

Most people’s introduction to hypnosis is usually in an entertainment setting—not a clinical setting. When Brian is doing hypnosis for entertainment, he’s not working on a positive behavioral change. He’s just doing a demonstration of how the subconscious mind can interpret a particular suggestion and act it out in that person’s reality. However, in a clinical setting, Brian is actually there to do work—invoke a positive behavioral change of some sort, whether to stop smoking, lose weight, or manage stress.

Understanding hypnotherapy and how it works is just a very involved process. The subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real or vividly imagined. If your subconscious mind accepts a particular suggestion, it has no choice but to act it out as your reality.

Daydreaming, reading a book, and watching a movie are all forms of intense focused concentration, creating images and pictures within your mind. So a hypnotic state is around us all the time, and is very natural. However, is everyone willing to allow a practitioner to guide him/her into a hypnotic state? One of the myths and misconceptions about hypnosis is that there is some sort of control that the hypnotist has over the subject’s mind. But, everything that occurs within hypnosis is within full control of the subject. So there is no mind control.

I can give you a suggestion to turn left, and you can say, “Yes, I’ll turn left.” But then I say let’s turn right, and you say, “No, I don’t want to turn right. I’m going to stay in park.” This small analogy demonstrates that in hypnosis you are in full control. You’re in more control in a state of hypnosis than you are in an alert, awake state because your attention is at an increased and focused level.

So, can anybody be hypnotized?

Yes, we all hypnotize ourselves. Will all people allow a practitioner to guide them into a hypnotic state? No. You have to be completely willing. It’s your decision, and you have to be in control of what happens.

There are different types of inductions, which are merely different processes of guiding somebody into a state of hypnosis—an altered state of consciousness in which the subject is never unconscious at any time—even though to the person watching, it may appear that the subject is unconscious. The eyes are certainly closed, but the subject can hear what the practitioner is saying at all times.

How do you hypnotize someone?

I use a progressive guided relaxation induction, which is wonderful for the physical benefits because it allows people to guide their body into a very relaxed state; and once the body is relaxed, the mind follows, making the mind very subjective to the powerful suggestions that I would offer. They would either choose to accept or reject them. However, there are other people that do require different inductions because their mind processes information differently.

One of the things that I do with people initially, working one on one, is called an intake. I address what positive outcome they’d like to have. Then, I do a trance assessment on them, guiding them into a state of hypnosis by immersing them or bringing them up at the end and being able to talk about the level of trance I was able to observe. Hopefully, that type of induction will work for them; if not, we’ll have to try another type of induction.

Brian specializes in helping people to stop smoking, to reduce stress, and to manage weight. Stress reduction cuts across every demographic in every life situation. All three of these areas are very popular.

I saw Brian on a cruise ship last March, and even though I had seen hypnotists in an entertainment setting as far back as high school, I was impressed at how the volunteers actually believed they were the outrageous personalities Brian had assigned to them. One man was turned into an uptight no-nonsense cop who was supposed to monitor all laughter. He became irate whenever the audience laughed. He threatened to arrest us all if we didn’t stop laughing. A young woman morphed so deeply into her new personality she mooned the audience. A grown man reverted to a child who got a boo boo on his finger and could have won an Oscar for his convincing portrayal as a 5-year-old. When they came out of their trance, they immediately reverted to their original personalities, each ignorant of their recent actions.

Once they accept that suggestion into their subconscious mind and they do believe it, their physical being has to act it out as if it is true because it can’t tell the difference.

Those of you who know me might find it hard to believe that I have a fear of public speaking. But to overcome my fear, I get my subconscious mind to accept and believe that I do not. Thus, I act out of my physical being as if I do not have that fear. That’s how I overcome my own phobias.

How do you tap into your subconscious mind?

Hypnosis allows us to bypass what’s called the critical factor of our conscious mind. We’re all working in our critical factor now–we’re analyzing, judging, sorting details and information. Our critical factor also sorts through and usually discards positive suggestions of change. Here’s the interesting thing about our mind. The negative suggestions have an open and free pathway right into our subconscious mind. Anything we hear that’s negative we immediately accept as true. However, the positive aspects of our lives we tend to question. So hypnosis allows us to bypass that critical factor, allowing an open and free pathway into the subconscious mind. Your mind then adopts four attitudes about any suggestion that I would give a client:

• I’m uncomfortable with that suggestion.

• I’m neutral.

• I like that suggestion; I’ll give it a try, and I hope it works.

• I like that suggestion; I know it will work.

Number 4 is the only attitude where power of suggestion of change will actually stay in your subconscious mind. Why our subconscious mind? Because that’s where all of our behavior is located.

If I tell somebody he/she is the world’s greatest piano player, and that person is playing incredibly—like he/she has been playing for 50 years—it’s because that suggestion has gone to that person’s subconscious mind. The person adopted the attitude “I like that suggestion; I know it will work.” The person has to act out in the physical being that it’s real. He/she cannot tell the difference. The same can be applied to smoking, overeating, and stress.

What advice do you give people who want to see a hypnotist, and more specifically, to lose weight?

One of the problems we’re faced with as Americans is that we’re always barraged with advertisements of magic little pills that will melt the pounds away while you sleep. This is just a con on the consumer. And we all want immediate results for taking no other change. We want to be able to pay $40, $50 for a bottle of magic pills where the weight will just fall off instantly. That’s not going to happen. Before you can actually lose weight or manage your weight, you need to understand the reason you’re overweight in the first place. Hypnosis is not appropriate in weight management for people whose weight issues are because of physiology, or changes in their metabolic rate. But if you’re simply an overweight overeater, and you know what puts weight on you, then you are a candidate. We can address that behavior to be able to change that.

My biggest clientele are people that have had gastric bypass surgery. Their physical but not their mental being has changed. Their behavior didn’t change prior to the surgery. I am working with those people to be able to change their outlook on how they view food. Typically, in 30-50 weeks, clients will be able to see some really long-term change. This is not a quick fix. People tend to see me last, because they have tried and failed at everything else. So when they come into my office, they say, “I sure hope this works. I’ll give it a try.” Their subconscious mind is interpreting it as failure.

The first thing Brian has to do is re-frame their thinking and belief system to invoke a behavioral change which will be something they will be able to carry with them throughout their life. It will not allow them to lose 20 pounds by the end of the month. There is no simple way out–this applies to smoking and stress management, too. Hypnosis is the tool that reinforces that change.

What are some of the taboos about hypnotists?

I think it goes back to people misunderstanding. I am thrilled to be answering this because I travel all over the world lecturing. And the first and foremost thing that I am out there to do is to get rid of myth, mystery, and misconception. The biggest misconception that people have about hypnosis is that I have a mysterious power and I am controlling people’s minds. Not true. When people fully understand that hypnosis is a natural state that we all go into naturally every single day of our lives, and as a practitioner, all I am doing with your willingness is allowing you to guide you into something that you do naturally. But most people go back to what television and the movies have portrayed hypnotists to be—that it is evil mind control. That’s the biggest stereotype that I have to overcome. All this does is breed fear and discredits our profession. Things that we don’t understand, we dismiss as fakery or evil—and it’s neither. My goal is to educate people and dispel that myth, mystery, and misconception.

How did you become so successful?

Belief. I live in a world of infinite possibilities. I have a belief system that is not boxed in. And the difference between people that fail, struggle, and completely give up, is completely based in their belief system. I’m very fortunate. I was raised from a child where my parents said I could do anything in the world I wanted to do. I took that as a belief when I was a little kid. The problem with most people is they either have such limiting beliefs or no beliefs in themselves at all. So until you have a strong empowering belief, you can’t ever accomplish goals.

Brian wants to get people that are 19-21 years old, that are coming into the world with very limiting belief systems, and be able to change that, reframe the way they’re thinking, and the way they view the world and themselves. He wants to show them that everything is a possibility.

Every major successful entrepreneur became that because they saw themselves as that before it even happened. One of my favorite stories was when Walt Disney wrote Open in Orlando, back in 1971—Walt died in 1965. His brother Roy was on hand to do the grand opening. A reporter said to Roy that it was too bad that Walt wasn’t there to see this. And Roy turned to him and said, “He did see this—that’s why it’s here.” That’s just a great example of being able to have a belief system that allows you to see something, and then make it a reality. I love that story!

To learn more about Brian Dean, visit www.doctortrance.com

Interview by Kaylene Peoples

Dear Adina – The 21st Century Dear Abby

Dear Adina

Your 21st Century Dear Abby

Dilemma 1

Dear Adina,
I have a real problem. I live around the corner from a very nice guy. We say hello to each other when I walk my dog. We became friends and I invited him to accompany me to a few functions. I always thought of him as just a friend, but I just discovered that he has been pining for me for three years! Now I am a divorced woman in my forties and am perfectly happy living alone. However, he has been very pushy about being with me. I finally gave in to his desires and went out on a date. He came on so strong that I didn’t know how to react. He told me he was in love with me and wanted to get married. I didn’t know how to respond. I have never had a guy come on so strong so fast before. He took offense when I didn’t reciprocate his feelings. The truth is I actually do care for him, but just not the way he cares for me. I feel in time, my feelings could grow. But he keeps rushing me to return his sentiment. Is this normal? The poor guy seems really desperate. I’m afraid I might have a stalker on my hands and I am not sure what my next move should be. But I am beginning to fall for him. Adina, how should I proceed?

Forced to Feel,
Samantha

—Adina’s Response—

Dear Friendly Neighbor,
It seems like your buddy is quite smitten by you. It reminds me of that When Harry Met Sally scene where Harry tells Sally that men and women could never just be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. I personally think friendship is the best way to start a relationship. You have common interests, you obviously enjoy spending time with this person, and there is already a solid foundation of trust and mutual respect on which to build a budding romance. But you just have to take it slow and listen to your instincts. Be open to your friend about how you feel…after all, friends should be able to tell each other everything! Make sure you let your friend know that you do have feelings for him, but you don’t want to rush into a relationship. Let him know how it makes you feel when he is too pushy or forward, and explain to him that he needs to give you space to reciprocate. I know that it can be scary opening up yourself to love again, especially after you have established an independent life for yourself and are happy alone. I am sure it is all these wonderful, strong, self-assured qualities which attracted your friend to you in the first place. But if and when you are ready to open your heart up to the possibilities of love, it looks as though you have a man waiting with open arms and an open heart.
Adina

Dilemma 2

Dear Adina,
I have been married for three years and I am totally fed up with my in-laws! Every time my husband and I go over to their house, they always say things that are totally inappropriate. I guess I should give you a little background. I am an African American female and my husband is Caucasian. Every time I am over there, they always make a point to draw undue attention to my race somehow, like commenting on my hair, or comparing me to derogatory stereotypes. Sometimes, they even use racial slurs in front of me. Of course, they don’t think they’re prejudiced at all. But to me, I feel so insulted. I have said things to my husband about it, but he doesn’t really know what to do about it. I have even confronted these people about their behavior, and they just say they never meant to hurt my feelings. But they keep doing it. It has made me so uncomfortable that I don’t ever want to see them again, but of course this would only drive a rift between my husband and me. Please help.

Tired of being the Victim,
Wanda

—Adina’s Response—

Dear Fed Up with the In-laws,
I understand that you must feel completely fed up with this situation. It’s so frustrating trying to get through to people who don’t understand the repercussions of their words. But instead of feeling like this is a battle of you against them, try to think of it as an opportunity to educate people who don’t know any better. You said that your in-laws are not intending to sound prejudiced or to hurt your feelings, so try not to feel hurt by their thoughtless words. Instead, next time they make an inappropriate joke or comment, be clear that you find it offensive. Try explaining to your husband how their comments make you feel and ask him how he would feel if the situation were reversed. It is important that you are comfortable around your in-laws and it is equally important to know that your husband has your side and will do whatever he can to resolve the situation. Talking about racial issues can be uncomfortable for some people, but an open dialog allows for a common understanding and appreciation of all the qualities which make us unique.

Adina

Dilemma 3

Dear Adina,
I have a friend who has really bad B.O. Everybody notices it. I have been known to tell people the truth, but I am tired of being the bad guy all the time. I don’t really want to be the person that hurts her feelings. But her personal hygiene is unbearable. What would you suggest I do? I’m tired of hearing other people talk about her to me. So do I have to be the one to tell her?

Holding My Breath,
Tracy

—Adina’s Response—
Dear Waiting to Inhale,
Think of it this way. If you had a big piece of food stuck in your teeth and you went about your daily routine without anyone saying a word, how would you feel? Maybe a little embarrassed? And probably very mad at your friends for not pointing it out to you! Well, this is a similar situation. I’m sure your friend doesn’t realize how bad her BO is. She will definitely be embarrassed when you point it out, but don’t worry, you won’t be the bad guy this time. The other people who make comments behind her back and say nothing to her are the bad guys in this scenario. There are tactful ways to bring up the subject. Suggest a fabulous new deodorant or body wash you found that she just has to try. Maybe even buy her a bottle. I’m sure she’ll get the hint.

Adina

You can email your dilemmas to adina@agendamag.com. It’s okay, tell Adina all about it. Just remember to include your first name and age. Oh yeah, guys are welcome too.

The Beauty Agenda

Sexy Spring

Written by Patricia Lee

Beauty Q & A

Q: I noticed that the new makeup looks for spring emphasize the appearance of fresh, glowing, clean skin. The cold winter weather left my skin a bit flaky and dull. How can I get rid of my skin¹s dull-looking appearance?

A: With winter weather, cold, dry air attacks skin and can leave it dry, dehydrated, and desperately needing hydration and/or moisture. At times, even much needed moisture can’t curtail the dull-looking skin winter leaves behind. To battle blah-looking skin, one may wish to try a gentle exfoliating scrub, such as Kiehl’s Pineapple Papaya Facial Scrub, which helps to slough away skin dulling cells. Containing pineapple and papaya, these earthly enzymes naturally nix those trying dead skin cells. Another amazing alternative offered at drug and department stores are at home microdermabrasion kits, such as Neutrogena’s Advanced Solutions At Home MicroDermabrasion Kit. Though a bit more potent, these must-have miracle workers exfoliate the dead surface skin cells, promote cell renewal, and leave skin softer and more rejuvenated. Follow up with the appropriate moisturizer or hydrator to maintain your skin’s suppleness. With fresher looking skin, you are ready to welcome spring.

Q: I’m in my late twenties and am curious about anti-aging foundations. I have a few fine lines and am wondering if I should opt for this sort of product. Any suggestions?

Spring Picks

Tried and Tested:

Ahh, Spring!!! The cute, coquettish looks of spring call for an equally pretty makeup look. One can effortlessly achieve an adoringly amorous look with femininely, flirty lashes. Our pick: Stila¹s Fiber Optics Mascara ($12.50). Coating every lash with micro fibers, it produces positively pretty, plumped-up lashes for that desired doe-eye, minus the drying and clumping. Falsies have nothing on these babies.

Spring Sexiness:

Tied and twisted, this season’s must have tempts and tantalizes with a visual game of peek-a-boo. From white hot white, teasing turquoise, or captivating chocolate to sweet pink, eye-grabbing green, or bewitching black, crocheted and eyelet pieces, alone or entwined with other refreshing fabrics and colors, charm in a clever yet classy fashion. Throw on a few gold/gold-toned accessories with an organic twist, such as intricate hoops, layered necklaces, or bracelets, and you’re good to go.

A few favorites:

Hard Tail Lace Goddess Tank Hazel Tie Front Camisole BCBG Girls “Kirstie” Crocheted Top

($56) ($78) ($68)

Get Glammed:

Delightfully complement the lighthearted fun of spring styles with equally pretty, uncomplicated colors. We love:

Dior Addict Nail Color:

Pretty Putty (380) Rose Reflex (250)

Sephora Nail Polish:

Sheer Baby Pink (22) Nude Mauve (21) Iridescent Gold Peach-Pink (23