Insights
The Wolf Speaks
The wolf speaks.
I can hear the wolf whispering to me when I walk in the mountains. I must remember not to be afraid, for the wolf appears to me as the wind making its voice present by the sound it makes as it moves the leaves, the branches, and as it dances on my skin.
I’ve been taking a break from my worries and supporting my mental strength by hiking five miles at a stretch in the beautiful Claremont Mountains. I often see deer and their young feeding on the wild grasses that grow on the sides of the path I walk on.
When I first decided to hike alone, I was afraid ? too afraid to make the trek. I remember wandering up the mountain about half a mile before I turned around terrified. I read the warnings about the mountain lions and the bears and couldn’t bring myself to keep going on alone.
What would I do if I encountered a bear or a mountain lion? How would I survive a snake bite? Richard Pryor had a comedy skit about snakes in the woods. I take comfort in knowing that like him, “I’ve got rhythm.” When I see a snake I say, “Oh, snake,” and hop over him as I keep on struttin’ in the woods, or in my case, the mountains.
I’ve seen snakes, rattlers. They do not scare me, for I know that I am the intruder to their mountain home. But I also know that they won’t threaten me.
One day I got the idea to buy pepper spray to protect myself from animals. I purchased my pepper spray from a hardware store for $8.95 plus tax. The package read, “Works on wild animals, humans, and dogs. 30 minutes of painful stinging while you get away.”
“This,” I thought, “is what I need.”
I made it up to my mountain. A ranger was at the entrance to the path, and I asked him if he’d seen any mountain lions or bears lately. He said that a mountain lion hadn’t approached a human in about 12 years or so. And as for bears, they’re rarely seen on the path. I wondered if my pepper spray would work. He assured me I probably wouldn’t need it.
Since my encounter with the ranger, I’ve been hiking my mountain several days a week for about a month now. I’ve seen no mountain lion or bear, but I have seen tarantulas, deer, several species of birds, and rattlesnakes. I’ve heard the wind speak to me through the trees and felt the heat of the sun as I walked on the red earth during the day. I’ve heard the owl at night, seen bats fly at me and barely miss me as they fly off, and felt the cool night air. Once I’ve even seen a shooting star.
There is no wolf where I walk, but I’ve seen him in spirit, and he speaks to me. I feel the mountains are my church and my god. God’s the whisper I hear as I’ve passed the three-mile mark that tells me there is no worry that can survive this trek.
I’m even now starting to take my mountain with me in my dreams, and I could swear my dad walks with me when I pass certain landmarks. He passed on over ten years ago. He always shows up between the 3.5 and 4 mile mark where the mountain is pure rock, where I’ve seen a few tarantulas, and where the mountain sage grows.
I’ve gotten in touch with a few of my native spirits, including the black wolf, the white eagle and the bear. I’ve become strong, patient, and silent. I have found my path, and I have discovered God. I’ve even made a few friends along the way.
If you follow me up that mountain around dusk, I’ll let you listen to the sound of the wolf wind and feel the breath of God as its cool presence brushes your neck.
By Lisa Trimarchi
