The Beauty Agenda
Beautician or the Beast – When Friendly Stylists Become Dangerous Foes
A Jerry Seinfeld episode sums this article up perfectly. Seinfeld had a barber who never cut his hair to his satisfaction. One day, while in his barber’s chair, he saw a new barber who was much better—hisbarber’s nephew. Jerry was always too scared to complain about his hair. So one day, after yet another bad haircut, he snuck off to get his hair done by the new guy—he crossed enemy lines. What happened next? His main barber found out and went ballistic. Sometimes the fear to confront a less than adequate stylist is not always unfounded.
I have been going to my beautician for years and have learned to trust her. I sit in the swivel chair while she applies all sorts of chemicals to my hair. She has dyed my hair and advised me against over processing. Over the years, I have learned that my beautician knows best… or does she?
I was casually having coffee with a dear friend of mine, and noticed her hairstyle. I complimented her and she half-heartedly thanked me. I asked her what was wrong, and she proceeded to complain about her, our beautician. You see, we both go to the same salon and have been for over a decade.
Charlotte cut my hair too short. I was just getting used to the look and she chopped it off before I ever knew what hit me. I didn’t even ask her to cut it. She just started cutting and before I knew it, my hair was 2 inches shorter.
Last week another female friend of mine was complaining about exactly the same thing. Even I had moments when I left the salon disappointed that my own hairdo had been compromised by those unwelcome scissors. If so many clients are unhappy with their stylists, then why doesn’t anybody do something about it, I wondered. I remember leaving an old beautician for the exact same reason. I didn’t want to go through another one without speaking up first.
I made a decision that the next time I sat in Charlotte’s chair, I would speak my mind, diplomatically of course. Charlotte did her normal routine with my hair, and after I emerged from under the dryer, my moment had come. I was sitting in the chair and Charlotte reached for the scissors. My heart was pounding. It was now or never.
Charlotte, do you think we really need to trim this time?
Charlotte looked at me and agreed not to cut this time. I felt power. I overcame! O. K., now I had the confidence to go all the way.
Charlotte, would you mind not cutting my hair for a while unless I ask you to? It’s just that I am trying to grow my hair long and you keep cutting off the new growth.
Charlotte got defensive and told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to trim my hair and that she wasn’t trying to sabotage my look. My hair just needed to be cut. I pleaded with her, re-emphasizing that it was my hair and if I didn’t want a trim, it should be my choice; but according to her, I had no say in the matter—she was the gatekeeper for my coif! She raised her voice, and I was humiliated by the stares of the other customers in the salon. Was I overreacting? Should I just let her cut at her whim? Do I have the right to ask her not to trim? After all, she took care of my hair for so many years. Was I out of line? Of course not! It is my hair, not hers. I was paying her for a service. By the time I escaped the salon, I had practically kissed Charlotte’s butt, stroked her ego, before she calmed down and finally agreed to wait until I asked her for a trim. I left her chair that day nervous and totally shocked that she reacted with such vehemence.
So what are women supposed to do when they are unhappy with their beauticians? There are really only three options:
1. Look for a new salon.
2. Express your grievances and hope for the best.
3. Learn to do your own hair.
Look for a New Salon
The easiest way to find a hair salon suited to your needs is to ask people with hair styles similar to what you want for a referral to their hair salon. These may be people you know or complete strangers that you see while you are out shopping. Do not be shy. If you see a cute style that you have been unsuccessfully trying to achieve, ask the person which hair salon they go to. You may never get a chance to do so again.
—Michael Barrow, Stylist—
I was at the Los Angeles courthouse one day and the clerk who helped me had the longest, healthiest hair I’d ever seen. I complimented her, and she told me she goes to the Long Hair Specialists in Pasadena. I called The Long Hair Specialists and they seemed like the perfect salon for me. They specialized in haircuts that compliment your hair while it’s growing out of a cut. Therefore, they are not a scissor-happy salon and rarely cut your hair at all. They focus on hair care and maintenance.
Express your grievances and hope for the best.
You should never leave the chair disappointed, but when it happens, here are a few tips to help you. Tell your stylist that the haircut or color isn’t what you had envisioned. If it’s a bad dye job, it can usually be fixed. It may not end up being what you wanted ultimately, but it most likely will at least be tolerable after she fixes it. If your haircut isn’t what you asked for, try to find a picture next time to show your stylist what you had in mind. After all, they are not mind readers. Many times, we envision one thing but don’t properly intimate that to our beautician. Many times we are too vague and leave too much to their imaginations. Just complaining about a bad hairdo isn’t enough. Keep in mind that cosmetology is an art, and you are dealing with an artist’s temperament. To express dislike is the equivalent of rejecting a painter’s painting.
Do it Yourself
Many people dye their own hair. There are so many consumer products like Loreal and Clairol. And I know a lot of women who have successfully dyed their own hair. If you’re trying to relax a curl, there are several do-it-yourself relaxers on the market like Dark and Lovely and Naturalizer Kit in a Jar. Some relaxers are even premixed and require very little effort. The same goes for perming (adding curl) like Wella Perm and J. Redding. As a precaution, always do the pretest to make sure there isn’t a skin reaction to the products.
Written by Kaylene Peoples
